EVERYONE SMELLS HORRIBLE

Reddit can turn a tiny conflict into a full-blown morality trial, so we built an all-Reddit AITA night to test our own instincts on boundaries, relationships, and money. We start with a deceptively simple roommate problem: if you’re baking a birthday cake and cinnamon rolls as a gift, does your roommate get a taste just because you share a kitchen? We dig into what “being a good roommate” actually means, where generosity ends, and why repeated asking can feel less like curiosity and more like entitlement.

Then the stakes jump to family and identity. One partner wants a Christmas trip so an international family can meet a new baby, while the postpartum spouse doesn’t feel safe traveling and doesn’t feel welcome around in-laws who never accepted her. We talk postpartum recovery, infant immune risk, and the underrated skill of managing your own family without throwing your partner under the bus.

We close with two classic pressure cookers: emotional labor and sudden wealth. A hibachi dinner spirals after a brutal work week, and a forwarded Instagram recipe triggers a blowup that screams “this isn’t about the recipe.” After that, it’s money: selling a free car, office gossip, and a 19-year-old lottery winner whose parents demand half. If you like AITA debates, relationship advice, communication tools, and personal finance boundaries, this one hits all of it. Subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review with your verdicts.

Transcript

All Reddit AITA Kickoff

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Welcome everyone to another great episode of Peak Points. As promised, we have an all Reddit episode. See? We're not liars. Not this time. No. I'm just a truther. And uh it's very exciting. We're gonna go with an Am I the Asshole themed Reddit episode. Oh boy. Everyone loves those.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

There's always just so many to choose from.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Uh the the human condition. Very interesting, huh?

SPEAKER_01 0:49

Yeah. And without further ado, let's jump in. And

Roommate Asks For Birthday Cake

SPEAKER_01 0:55

I'm gonna start with one from Shoddy Cartographer 75. Am I the asshole for not wanting to give my roommate some of the food I make? For my boyfriend's really I'm dead, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Already. I can just imagine.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

For my boyfriend's birthday, I made him a chocolate raspberry cake. My roommate saw me making it and asked if she could have some. I was kind of taken aback because I had just told her I was making it specifically for my boyfriend. I would assume that if someone was making a birthday cake, they would want to keep it intact until they cut it and eat it with the birthday person. I wouldn't expect them to save any leftover cake for a roommate LOL. But I was surprised, so I just kind of said yes, even though I thought it was kind of ridiculous. A few weeks later it was my boyfriend and I's sixth month anniversary, so I wanted to bake him some cinnamon rolls from scratch. My roommate saw me making them and she asked again if she could have some even though I already told her who they were for. This time I told her no and she got all butthurt. Am I taking this too seriously? I mean, it's only food. I just think it's ridiculous for her to want something I'm making for someone else. I would offer to make her something, but the fact that she keeps asking even when they're for somebody else just rubs me the wrong way. Am I the asshole in this situation? And Edit. All of the ingredients I use I bought myself. We don't really share things other than dishes. She is also kind of rude whenever my boyfriend is over, which makes me kind of petty, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Uh so there is some sort of petty connotation behind that. A little bit. A little bit. Uh as much as she'd probably like to say otherwise. Uh I don't know how to how to go about this one. So the community has the response for sure.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

But what what's I want to hear your take on it before For sure, it is a little sad that she's not willing to give her like a cookie or something like that. Well, it's cinnamon rolls and cakes.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Cinnamon rolls and cakes, you know, and stuff like that. But it's like, damn, maybe she only had so limited and she did a count. You know, maybe that's something she could say, but like maybe a nibble, you know? Like, here, test this. Is it any good? Yeah. Um, but it is kind of crazy that the person keeps asking more than once. Like if I'm denied the one time, I'm just gonna be like, oh well, F you then I'm out of here.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

Yeah. Uh so I would say slightly able. I hear that. Slightly able for that. So there's a little bit of nuance, in my opinion, in this situation. Asking for some of the cake for someone else's birthday that you're not going to attend. I mean, I could kind of understand asking if for some leftover or something like that. But realistically, I I think it I still think it's kind of odd.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

A little bit, yes, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

To ask for leftovers from a cake or to ask for it before it even goes.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

And that's an intricacy that I don't understand because I've never had a roommate. So I to me everything that involves roommate is odd. And I wouldn't want to share anything with them. Yeah. I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

Roommates, especially if they're like a situation like a college roommate or something like that, is pretty odd. It's kind of like an odd niche relationship. You're you can be friends, but you definitely don't need to be. But you do need to be civil. It's almost like a coworker that you just happen to live with in a lot of situations.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

That's the problem, because even when I did go to college, I stayed in the city. I didn't want to. I'm not gonna I don't want to stay with anybody else, you know, and smell their poop or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

Eat nasty.

SPEAKER_00 5:24

Because everybody poops.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Everyone. Uh so I mean I understand wants like seeing something or smelling something or hearing that it's a specific flavor, like the chocolate raspberry. And I'm being excited for that and like being real interested in trying it and all that. I totally understand that. And so contextually, I think we need to know a little bit more of how it was asked. Wow. Like were they demanding some before it left the premises, or were they asking for some leftovers if there was any for the cake? Yes. Now, for the cinnamon rolls, uh that one's a little difficult too, because typically when I've made plenty of cinnamon rolls from scratch, and typically when you make them, you make them make the recipe is kind of designed around using a specific size dish and filling that dish and not having a random extra scrap or something like that.

SPEAKER_03 6:26

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Now, if you were going to be using a different size container or doubling or anything like that, saving one would be a breeze, no no big issue. But again, she was making these cinnamon rolls for a specific event for someone else. And it That's what I'm saying. Again, it's it's odd but understandable to want a homemade cinnamon roll. I mean, good lord, who doesn't want a a lovely homemade cinnamon roll. So I don't think, especially in a roommate scenario, you're an asshole for denying a request because a request is a request, it's not a demand. There's that that's what a request is about. Like you you're not authorized or entitled to demand it, so you're asking. And so if they say no, then that's that should be it. Exactly. I understand being disappointed. Don't get me wrong. Me too. Especially for homemade sentimental. But to go the extra mile of being butthurt, mine is not the asshole. The general community consensus was not the asshole. However, I will read a couple comments from people who said that she was.

Gifts Versus Sharing Space Etiquette

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Yes. Just to kind of give a little different perspective.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

And to clarify my stance before we we go with the comments, uh, I believe she's not the asshole, but just smells like it. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

I mean, she did share the cake. So I mean you're not that much of an asshole, in my opinion. But anyway. By one India T, YTA, in other words, you the asshole, I cannot imagine making something nice and not at least offering my roommate a taste or to try leftovers, if there are any. When you share a space, there needs to be a give and take. And the the original poster actually replied to that with so if you were making a birthday cake for someone else and they wanted a slice, you would cut one out for them or take a slice back for them, even if they don't know the birthday person. The lack of social etiquette is kind of crazy. To which India replied, No, it's called being a good roommate. When you are baking, you are using a whole area in the apartment for an extended time. You are using more electricity slash gas and adding more trash. When I bake a cake, I always offer my roommate some after the event. When I make cookies, I put a few aside for her. It builds the relationship with which is important to maintain in shared housing. And again, response from OP OG OP I'm not making food for myself. I'm making it for a specific person. In this way it's a gift. Why should I give a portion of their gift away to someone else? Also, we pay equal rent and we buy our own groceries. Why does us sharing a kitchen make her entitled to what I make with my own money? If I was baking for myself, of course I would give her some. But if it's for another person in all caps, no, she's not getting any.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

She's definitely making it more clear that it seems like she asked for it when the cake was already baked. So I mean I definitely get that side for sure. Like I'm not gonna take out a slice and ruin the cake just to satiate your need for a piece of this cake right now.

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Which does make it sound like she was asking for cake before it left the house. It does sound like it Which would be totally uncalled for.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

That is a little I was already thinking strange, but a little rude too. Mm-hmm. But I do see the other side about the shared space and I think this is more like uh to sum it up, more of a different strokes for different folks kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

Yeah, and different relationships have different uh norms. I mean there's plenty of roommate scenarios where they're practically best friends. Mm-hmm. And then there's other ones where you're basically family. And then there's other ones where you're barely more than strangers. Like you say hi and goodbye, and that's about it. Um The uh the commenter had one final response, and that was How you live your life, including how you bake, is entirely up to you. I am a little surprised that you posted a you posted as looking for advice when you clearly don't want anyone else's advice or opinions. But yeah. I mean it again, it's it's a very nuanced situation. Uh as the edit said, they have a bit of a petty side to this. Oh, yeah. Because roommate doesn't like the ro the boyfriend. Yes. Mm-hmm. It's a Mation. Um so it it honestly it could be a little bit of pettiness from the roommate as well, asking for a piece of it just to, you know, try and get a little bit out of it or something. I don't know. Reduce the amount the boyfriend gets. Uh who knows? But i I think there's just a little more nuance than uh too much nuance that's not included in order to give a truly concise and solid answer, but in general, not the asshole, because it wasn't a shared resource and it was intended for someone else.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

Uh all around, um, like you said, a lot of nuances. And I'm glad that that one was a not the a-hole consensus. And uh I kind of feel the same way. Not the a-hole. And for mine is also from Am I the Asshole Subreddit by confused underscore about

Postpartum Travel And Family Expectations

SPEAKER_00 12:45

underscore life. I uh yeah, me too, my friend, me too. Uh this one might stir up some feelings. Uh-oh. Am I the asshole for asking my postpartum wife and five month daughter to travel over Christmas? Hmm. And this one has uh also community.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Again, context is here.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

My wife is pregnant with our first child. She's due in the beginning of August. We live in the same state as her family, but my family is international. Five hour flight plus two hour drive. Before we got married, we always spoke about travel to visit my family and how frequently we would do so. The plan was always to spend Thanksgiving with her family and Xmas with mine. My parents have not been very accepting of my wife and are very upset that I settled in another country. As parents tend to be, to be fair. My sister who lives ten minutes from our parents, is expecting a baby in November and would very much like us to make the trip over for Christmas and see the family. Plus our new niece and have my grandparents, plus cousins meet my new baby. Right. My wife refuses since she doesn't feel comfortable flying with her baby before she's one year old and doesn't want to be around my parents while she's five months postpartum. And uh who knows what this person's suffering from, like that uh postpartum depression and stuff like that. Who knows? I understand her concerns, but I'm sad because opportunities for my family to be all together are rare. And I feel like our original expectations around holidays and family access have changed significantly. Am I the asshole for pushing her to fly over for Christmas? There's an edit. And I'm assuming because uh the comments are pretty um mixed on this one. Yeah. Am I I am the asshole with a sad face crying emoji. Oh goodness. Thanks everybody for your comments. It's our first child, so my expectations are seemingly off base. We're also the first of our friends to have kids. So I sought Reddit for advice. Completely understood it's too early to have even brought up traveling for Christmas, given we don't have any idea what our baby is like fully. On I guess they mean on traveling. Right. My parents' position on my wife has put a huge strain on my relationship with them, and I have been trying to remediate that. I think more than anything, it makes me sad that they don't haven't accepted her yet, and she doesn't feel welcome in their home, since my wife plus family are some of our favorite people. I definitely will get in front of the conversation around traveling at Christmas to make sure that's not on my wife.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

So it sounds like this hasn't been like a huge issue between him and his wife, more of a he wants it and he came to Reddit to try and kind of get an even keel on the situation. Which serious kudos to OP on that, if that is in fact what happened. Um and as with many things, there's a little bit of nuance that's left out, a little bit of context. However, in general, uh he's not an asshole for wanting the travel, and if he was going to be pushing his wife to actually do the traveling, definitely would be the asshole. But the fact that he accepted that is not an okay thing to be wanting in this situation is entirely understandable and and major props to him. Because there's the postpartum for one, the contention with the family for two, and the low what's the term? Uh not fragility, but uh the immune system isn't robust in a five-month-old infant. That part I agree with. Um technically safe for travel, I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure babies can travel after the first couple months. It's not advised, but if needed, I think they can. Again, this is also something you'd want to run by your doctor because everyone's different and there's so many variables in that scenario. Right. But I totally understand the OP's desire to show off his new baby. I mean, show it all off to his family and hopefully repair some of the damage that the relationship between his wife, i.e. his favorite person in the world, with his parents, the most important people growing up in his world. I I totally understand wanting that and desiring it and like wanting to push for it.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

And the fact that he backed off, at least after this, props to him.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Yeah, I I I definitely agree with both sides in the sense that he wants to see his family, he wants to introduce his new baby, uh, that piece of him that's very important to him, you know. Um, but I also understand uh the apprehensiveness of his partner having just gone through this ordeal, and I think like I kind of agree, like the first year you're trying to create that bond with that baby first and foremost, and I think it would be like a major strain to take like a tiny baby like that, you know, five months, it's wow.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

I mean, again, there's there's there's a lot of situations where it's okay, there's a lot of situations where it's not. Yeah. And it's hard to say exactly where they fall in that. But I mean, yeah, it's it's uh a dice yeavor than not.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

Yeah, and uh some of the comments are pretty or they're pretty pretty loud, I'll say that much.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

I would imagine so.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

Uh well before we read the comments, what's your stance on there? Um Verdict.

SPEAKER_01 19:24

If he was pushing, asshole. Wanting it to happen, not the asshole. So I I I may have been projecting if he was pushing or not, so that's why I'm leaving that open. But the want the desire for it, not the asshole, but if he was pushing his wife to go that way, bit of the asshole. Unintentional, but asshole.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

So the first comment by Fearless Leader 808, you're the asshole, and don't you dare tell your parents that she doesn't want to come. You are telling them that it is too early for your baby to travel, and that you, in all caps, have decided to skip this first one. Do not throw your wife under the bus on this. From the get-go, you are the one who will be managing your family and making it clear that decisions are both yours and your wife's on the consideration of your newborn. Otherwise, this is going to snowball and resentments will grow. And directly under that by Mary. And it's actually like the most upvoted comment. Good. Um I cannot outvote this enough. I live across the country from my family, and when my first baby was born, my husband started working really long days. You gotta provide, right? Yeah. Sometimes not coming home because it didn't make sense to drive h home from his commute three hours away.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

Oh god, that's a hell of a commute.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Yeah, one way. We lived near my in-laws, and back then they didn't like me much. I decided to spend most of my summer with my family, and they were pissed at me for deciding to spend six weeks away. Even though they didn't want to spend time with me, question mark. Well, they wanted to spend time with the baby. Exactly. But they were mad on my husband's behalf. It was actually my husband's grandma who said to everyone, give her a break. She's all alone most of the time here and taking care of a baby. Let her see her damn family as long as she wants. Yeah, definitely no. But tell them it's too soon and you're looking out for them. And obviously, someone said, God bless the grandma Marys of the world. Um I will say the rest are really loud and quick verdict for The people, asshole. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Yes. Yeah, there's a lot of people that get really in their feels because of a situation that they dealt with, and this is their way to vent about it. So I I totally understand the the you're the asshole verdict in this. But again, I particularly given the response, the edit it's very unintentionally so.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Seems that way.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

Simply doesn't really understand the whole situation well enough to have put all the the the factors together.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

In this case he's like an asshole but not a smelly one.

SPEAKER_01 22:44

Yeah. Okay. An asshole that uh was recently showered.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

Oh okay. Fresh fresh asshole.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

Alright. The next one. Am I the asshole? By you throwaway sequence

Protect Your Partner From Family Drama

SPEAKER_01 23:10

three nine one. Am I the asshole for ruining a hibachi dinner? The comp the community has voted, so we do have a specific verdict, but we'll see where we are. I, fifty two female and my husband, forty nine male, have been together for over twenty years. He has been out of work, but I make enough to keep us going. Last week was rough for me at work. I was initially blamed for something my predecessor did. It did get straightened out, but there was a lot of meetings, calls, and emails, and I was scared I could lose my job. So Friday night I just wanted a quiet night at home. My husband wanted to go to his favorite hibachi place. We don't go out to eat much anymore, but I was so tired. He kept pressing, saying all you have to do is sit there and eat. So I said okay. The hibachi place was loud and crowded, but being just the two of us we didn't wait long and were seated with a boisterous group of six. The chef came out. As he started cooking he looked at me and asked if I was okay. I nodded and said yes, I'm fine, thank you. He nodded and started bantering with the group of six. A few minutes later, the chef again asks if I was okay. I assured him, yep, I'm good. And then he said, You don't look like you feel good. I've been told that I have a resting bitch face, so I tried to smile and said again that I was fine. When the chef turned back to the group of six, he grinned and then looked at me yet again, and this time said Are you mad? I was taken aback and said nope. He mugged at the group of six, and then to me he said in a comedic voice, Are you sure you're not mad? Are you mad at me? The group of six chuckled. Just as an aside, to be fair, this is hibachi behavior. I mean that that kind of is their comedic shtick. Part of their comedic shtick, but this is I understand. Anyway. One of the women in the group of six then said, Oh, don't worry about her. She's just dot dot dot dot. Here is where I may be the asshole, because I didn't hear what she actually said after that. There was a burst of noise that for me drowned her out. All I know is that after she finished her sentence, the chef and the group had a hearty laugh while looking at me. I was feeling so beat up from the week, I was mortified to feel myself turning red and tearing up. So I told my husband to box up my food because I'd be waiting in the car for him. I was getting out of my chair when my husband hissed at me to sit down and stop making a scene. I said, I'm not going to sit here and be made fun of. My husband said nobody's making fun of you, just eat your dinner. I ended up sitting through the rest of the meal in the restaurant. The mood at the table turned very sedate, communication became hushed voices and gestures. Nobody hung around long after the food was distributed, and pretty much everyone, myself included, just put everything into go boxes and left. In the car, my husband complained I had ruined dinner. I asked him what the woman said about me after the don't worry about her she's just. And my husband would only say it was nothing, and it wasn't anything to get mad about. I kept after him to tell me exactly what she said, and he finally admitted that he didn't hear her either, but it didn't matter. It wasn't worth me ruining dinner for the whole table. Am I the asshole? Go ahead and give your verdict. There is an edit that's a paragraph long.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

Uh I'm gonna go with frustrated yet yeah, I would say the asshole in this. Um not for specifically ruin the night, but sometimes, you know, you gotta pick your battles kind of thing. And I'm sure everybody's there to have a good time, you know. And I definitely get the disrespect part, though, like, you know. But maybe that's something that you pull that person aside who said that comment, like, hey, what was it that you said? To be fair, that's a complete stranger.

SPEAKER_01 27:41

That that's not something most people are comfortable doing. Yeah. Particularly in the middle of a hibachi dinner restaurant.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

Exactly. Not not in the middle of it, but you know, something afterward. And especially if it's a stranger's kind of weird, you know. I don't know. Uh it's an interesting scenario, but I I still say she's kind of the a-hole. Hmm. Or OP.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Mine is that she's not, because frankly, she was Shanghai into going to the dinner. I I her husband's the asshole in my situation. Yeah, I know exactly.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

I was gonna say that too. Her husband kind of sucks.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

Total asshole in this situation, totally unsympathetic to her work week.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:22

Like she very clearly way overstimulated and stressed uh about her whole work week. Understandably so.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

Understandably so.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

When you are providing the only income to the household, and you're you've been on pins and needles about possibly losing your job for something that wasn't even your fault for a whole week. Nah. Nah, you are not in a gray headspace.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

And on top of this is like adding it like insult to injury, literally. Yeah. I was gonna say prior to like my verdict

Hibachi Jokes And A Rough Week

SPEAKER_00 28:55

was like there is an asshole. It smells like asshole in the story, but it's not entirely all her on that person.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

Um could OP have handled things better? Yes. But I don't think she was the asshole in this scenario. Um I totally understand wanting to leave and not wanting to be part of a situation that you are being m being made the butt end of a joke, particularly clearly a joke that you're not a part of. It is a very uncomfortable and frankly upsetting uh experience, regardless of what kind of week you've had. You could have had a stellar week and have jokes being made at your expense that you don't even hear is off-putting. In well, most of the time. Don't get me wrong, there is some scenarios where it's par for the course and to be expected, or it's it's situational, like you're you're goofing off and roasting each other. But that's usually by people you know, not a random stranger and the entertainerslash cook right in front of you.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

Yeah, like you don't know me, you know, kind of thing. I definitely see both sides.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

Yeah, and she didn't go to the hibachi dinner for that experience. She went just to eat and frankly was dragged there almost against her will. I agree. Um But in the situation it is it is advisable to acknowledge the situation you're in and deal with the situation with a grain of salt effectively.

SPEAKER_02 30:44

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

So not the asshole, but also you could have handled it better. Uh made to look like the asshole, I would say. Yeah. Gas later. She certainly could have handled it better, but given the situation she was in, I fully understand the response she had. And she wasn't rude about it. She didn't scream, she didn't turn into a Karen and and demand for the manager or what have you. She just simply said she just simply wanted to remove herself from the situation.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

And I but I do think that she kind of made a little bit of a scene. She possibly is. We don't know. Just from what I can give us enough context. The context I read I understand from there is like kind of made a little bit of a scene, and the husband's trying to be like, you know, let's just let's talk about it afterward, or let's just, you know.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

And some people are very non-confrontational, which it sounds like the husband is. Other than the fact that he was demanding on going to Hibachi for no other reason than he wanted to go.

SPEAKER_00 31:46

Uh yeah, I don't like him at all, but I think he's the asshole. Uh I think she was made to look like the asshole. But still kinda came out looking like one. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 31:56

A little bit, yeah. Um what about the comments or the So the edit, her edit. Yes. Uh since posting, I've commented here and there, but I think most of my comments have gotten lost in the sea of other, frankly, amazing comments. So this is just to add a few things. First and foremost, a huge, huge thanks to everyone who's read this and offered their perspective. I especially appreciate the reassurance and hugs. But I also value all the NTAs, YTAs, NAHs, and E S H's. I'm not really sure what the N A H and E S H is. N T A is not the asshole, Y T A is you're the asshole. Maybe N N A H S is nobody is the asshole.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

No asshole's there. Yeah, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 32:55

What would be ESH? Everyone smells horrible? Yeah. I don't know. I agree with that part. Uh there are many perspectives that had not occurred to me. I was willing to make myself less happy in a misguided attempt to make my husband more happy. So we both made bad choices that night. I am not giving up on convincing him to try therapy, and in the meantime, I am continuing my therapy and trying to always remember the airplane oxygen mask rule. I have to take care of myself first before I can take care of others. Which is good advice for everyone, I guess. Thanks again. And the community's response is not the asshole.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

Okay. And and I like the self-reflection there that they gave at the end. Mm-hmm. I think that's very helpful. Um sometimes you gotta take care of your mental in order to Absolutely, you know, continue on sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 33:54

And a after a week like that, you are the one who needs to be catered to, not the person who's been home all week. Yes, and even if the person was spending the entire week doggedly applying for jobs, they still had a less stressful j week than you did.

SPEAKER_00 34:16

And this kind of points me to something that I read earlier, uh a post about relationships and how that should work. Uh that's that kind of actually applies to this in a sense with when we're talking about self-reflection and stuff like that. Is they say relationships are fifty-fifty. But they're not. But they're not. Sometimes you're sixty, sometimes they're forty, your partner's forty, sometimes you're seventy, they're thirty, sometimes you're twenty, and they're they're gonna pick up the slack, is the whole main point of that. And I think that her partner should have maybe made more of an effort

Relationship Effort Is Not Fifty Fifty

SPEAKER_00 34:55

to provide the rest of that percentage for them, and understood they're not in a headspace to go to this hibachi place, you know, and and and give them some time to to rest and and recover.

SPEAKER_01 35:11

Now, to be fair, maybe the husband genuinely thought that given his experiences at hibachi, that this would revitalize her. It would be a good break for her to go and get a laugh.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

Hibachi's pretty fire though.

SPEAKER_01 35:27

It it genuinely could have been him genuinely trying to get her out of her funk and give her a little bit of a good experience with dinner. I don't know. But insisting on it when she doesn't want to go starts starts pushing it's starts pushing the whole situation into the asshole side of things. Um But uh to what you were saying about the relationships, uh I've heard similar, and uh my personal take on that, because it's kind of a compilation of lots of different input similar to that, is that in a relationship it's both sides give a hundred percent. Like you want to give one hundred percent of yourself to your partner, and they ideally should give a hundred percent of themselves to you. Yes. But similarly to what you were saying, where sometimes you really are. You're at you're at ten percent. Yep. That like that's all you can give. Uh-huh. And a lot of people would understand. My wife and I've actually done we've actually done this a couple times where I've gone to her after a particularly difficult day, and I'm like, honey, I I'm at like ten, ten to twenty percent. It was a rough day. I love you, and I want to show up for you, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it as well as I want to. Um To be fair, after the first few times we've gotten a little more shorthand about it. Right, but not so wordy.

SPEAKER_00 37:01

But the point is that that's healthy for you to do and a good thing for them to do themselves, you know.

SPEAKER_01 37:07

And to be fair, there are times when both of us are at max fifty percent. And so those are the nights where we're like, all right, we're going to eat leftovers and rot. Yep. Other than like, we're gonna we're just gonna take a shower, eat our leftovers, and not expect anything of the other person. We're just gonna recharge as best we can.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

Exactly, and that's very good piece of advice for the listener to have is like like you said, and very poignant. You know, it's good to let your partner know, like, hey, I'm really not feeling it today. And at the end of the day, they should be there to support you if you need it, but also support when you feel like you need the space and stuff like that. Like you know. It's just the way it should be, I think. And uh we'll move on to my story. Excellent. And uh this one because I know that you cook

Recipe Reel Argument And Communication Gaps

SPEAKER_00 38:10

should relate to you. Oh boy. Um so under Am I the Asshole by Goat Critical 9265. Am I the asshole for forwarding my wife an Instagram reel of a recipe after she asked what I want for dinner tomorrow? Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 38:32

As a verdict. This is a very specific context situation because there's relationships where that is the norm, and there's relationships where that is horrible.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

Yes. Uh there's an edit as well. My wife asked me what I'd like for dinner tomorrow, and I was thinking about it. I saw this Instagram reel of a yummy looking recipe. So I forwarded it to her. She said she could try cooking this. She went ballistic at me saying only she cooks, that I never cook, and that she's not a servant whose job it is to only cook, and I order her around on what to cook. Something's missing here, I feel like.

SPEAKER_01 39:16

There's a that thing is a buildup over a quite a long time.

SPEAKER_00 39:20

There's something there's something bubbling here. Uh I literally didn't order her around. I didn't say cook for me this or else. She asked for suggestions, so I gave one. That's it. Told her we can go to a restaurant instead or we can try cooking it together on the weekend. I literally never ordered her to cook this for me. She merely asked for suggestions so I gave one. And there's additional notes here. Additional notes 'cause everyone's asking the same question and I can't reply to 200 comments. I never cook. I do the dishes every day though and other chores, but I finish work late and it's easier for me to just either eat out on weekends or simply package food. I can do pan fry steak. Another bullet point. It was simple beef noodle recipe that lug yummy. She's done more complex things and similar things before. Next one. She likes to try new recipes and even told me she does. Even if I do something wrong, I didn't deserve to get shouted at. And I'm assuming that the comments forced them to add this edit. Insane that you guys are still commenting on an argument that had almost a week go, and me and my wife have completely forgotten about it and made up.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

To be fair, this is what happens when you put something on the internet. Not everyone sees it right away at the same time. It keeps happening over the whole time it's left up.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

He's definitely trying to protect us or or defend himself. Yeah. So what's your verdict?

SPEAKER_01 41:02

Hmm There's a lot to unpack here. A lot in a little bit. There's a lot without a lot of information. So first off, the fact that wife went ballistic, frankly, is likely because of a buildup of similar or even unrelated issues that have not been communicated.

SPEAKER_00 41:30

Something's going on.

SPEAKER_01 41:31

So lack of communication would be pretty high in issues to be dealt with in this scenario, in my opinion. Uh are you an asshole for forwarding a recipe after being asked what you want for dinner? Absolutely not. Especially in within the context that we've been given. Is there a lack of communication that could make you and her both at the same time assholes to each other? Yes. But also it could just simply be lack of knowledge about the need for this extra amount of communication, so you're not necessarily an asshole for it. But in general, I think communication, communication, communication would have really helped with this. This is a big one. Um and given the edit about working late and not having the time to cook, I fully understand. Sure. Fully understand. If you're in a situation where one partner gets off earlier, or possibly doesn't work, I don't know. Mm-hmm. Then yeah. The cooking duties, especially when you're getting off late, regardless of if you're a good cook or not, are going to fall to the partner that's not off super late. That's that's a situation that I've dealt with with my wife. Of the two of us, I'm the better cook. She readily admits this. She actually much prefers my cooking. She's uncomfortable with a lot of cooking. There's a few recipes she's comfortable with, but in general she doesn't like it. And that's fine. I understand it. But But she has cooked before. She has cooked and she is willing to cook when I am unable to. Yes. Partially. This is because we communicate. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

Yeah, I get it. So I get it, dude.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

Uh this is it's I don't think either of them are truly the asshole in the situation. I think they're both kind of clueless.

SPEAKER_00 43:58

I think it's just communication, right?

SPEAKER_01 44:00

Problems That's what I meant, like clueless in the communication aspect. Yes. Did he deserve to be yelled at because he sent a recipe after being asked a question? Absolutely not. But to be fair, the blow up happened because communication needs were not being met, and that's on both of you.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

So before I give my verdict, though, so what's what's yours?

SPEAKER_01 44:27

Not the asshole in that narrow request.

SPEAKER_00 44:34

I think all before I read the comments, I think all around uh getting past the simple portion, I think he's an asshole for not seeing the bigger picture. And uh uh his words kinda lead me to believe when he said I never cook. He said, I never cook. He specified. I do dishes uh every day and other things.

SPEAKER_01 44:56

Now, to be fair, again, that's that could be part of the communication that happened years ago, who knows that hasn't been updated. I don't know. But the fact that he does the dishes means he is contributing. He's doing something. He's not just being a pretentious asshole. He's like, You're gonna cook and clean for me. Right because you're a wife. Oh, I agree. I agree.

SPEAKER_00 45:13

No, I definitely at least there's that. However, I'm a hundred percent certain that the wife, the partner, whatever would appreciate a simple attempt, you know. Even a cup of noodle, bro. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:26

Like you can make a cup of noodle And if you can pan fry, then you can call that cooking and dinner.

SPEAKER_00 45:32

Yeah. You could try, make an effort, and hey, it doesn't sound like you work seven days a week. It sounds like you work late, and how about on the like you said, you're gonna help her cook on the weekends. It says here in the com and in in your note there, sir, goat critical, that I could help you make this on the weekend. Mm-hmm. Why don't you try to do it yourself? Initiate. Initiate it. That's big for women to have that happen for them. For women, but also this is like a but a bubbling point.

SPEAKER_01 46:07

Relationships in general, too.

SPEAKER_00 46:08

Relationships are complicated, but this is like a bubbling point thing. Yeah. Where it's like, whoa, you're mad at me for just sending you a post. I can't believe it. There's build up there's something, bro. Yeah. Like, this is common sense thing. Yeah. This is like, hey, um, why don't we just sit down and talk about this and like And it sounds like they did in the edit, but needed to happen prior to this. Obviously, it took him to get very upset at the end and uh had the edit of insane that you get just through commenting.

SPEAKER_01 46:42

Kind of makes you feel like maybe there's a little bit of guilt on his side if he's feeling defensive.

SPEAKER_00 46:49

It does sound like it, and uh leads me to the first comment by practical yam 9480. You're the asshole. I love that none of the options you gave involved you specifically cooking. Someone else always has to cook for you or with you. And uh while you are merely making suggestions, why don't you suggest that you cook a meal for her? And uh a lot of people were commenting on that. This is exactly what I was gonna say. Not one of his options involved him cooking for himself. You're the asshole based on that alone. It just says so much about the whole situation. And on the other side, there's someone who says by uh Galactica Princess says, Oh come on. She asked for what he wanted for dinner. There's no evidence that uh she was hinting at him to cook it or resentful for making dinner. And uh so it kind of shows like a missing context. Oh yeah. Obviously, we're getting one side of the story, yeah, and he's obviously making himself look a little bit like a victim.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

Yeah. Yeah, some of the wording definitely has some more victim mentality to it.

SPEAKER_00 48:03

And so, consensus verdict for the people. Asshole. Hmm. Yeah. It's been an interesting night of relationships in this one.

SPEAKER_01 48:17

Yeah, I mean Yeah, I I have to stick with my my personal verdict, not the asshole within the narrow view. But when you start adding when you start extrapolating context from the clues that have been given and not given, it feels like there's behind the scenes assholeishness on both sides.

SPEAKER_00 48:42

It's a boiling point thing. Yeah. So I think uh not asshole for sending that, but asshole for not seeing the bigger picture and in my aside point, do better. Just do better, bro. Like cook for yourself at least a meal or cook for your girl and and and like one time, you know, like surprise her. Like one time a little bit of effort goes a long way.

SPEAKER_01 49:06

Yeah. For sure. Now, before I get into my next one, I do want to say I looked up some of those uh

AITA Voting Codes Explained

SPEAKER_01 49:20

anachronisms. Acronyms, not anachronisms, I'm sorry. So the uh voting guide to be clear is YTA you're the asshole. YWBTA you would be the asshole. N T A, not the asshole, and the other person is. YWNBTA, you would not be the asshole, and the other person would.

unknown 49:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 49:50

E S Here we go. Everyone sucks here.

SPEAKER_00 49:54

Everyone sucks here.

SPEAKER_01 49:56

I think everyone smells horrible. That's better. Everyone smells horrible is way better. Given this what the subreddit is about, but an NAH, no assholes here, and info. Just simply not enough info.

SPEAKER_02 50:12

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 50:13

I think they should add a new one.

SPEAKER_00 50:15

Yeah? An AE. A E, what would that be for? Assholes everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 50:25

Everywhere I look. Comments included, sometimes. Alrighty, now with those uh definitions out of the way by Bula Bill B-U-L-A-Y-B-I-L, not sure how you actually say that. Am I the

Selling A Free Car Without Guilt

SPEAKER_01 50:55

asshole for selling something I got for free? Fun little context needed here, huh? A few weeks back I, forty-four male, won a car at one of those supermarket giveaways. There are various reasons I don't want to keep it. One, I spend a significant portion of the year traveling between two continents. I don't have a garage to keep it in when I'm in my home country, and perhaps most importantly, the car has a manual transmission and I am a bad enough driver on an automatic. I could, however, use a couple of thousand euros extra, so I decided to sell it. Friends of mine, a married couple I will call Laura, thirty six female, and Patrick, thirty-eight male, are in the market for a new car. So I turned to them first. The ticket price of the car is 20,000 euros. I need to pay taxes on the winnings of some four thousand. So I offered it to them for 14,000. They save six thousand, which means they don't need to take out a partial loan as they were planning. I end up with ten thousand, everyone wins. Laura and Patrick very happily accepted, and we should have all the paperwork done out next week. I was hanging out with Laura and Patrick last weekend, signing the paperwork. At one point, another friend of theirs, let's call him Jake, thirty four male, showed up. I don't talk to him. Why is a long story? One of the reasons is that he is a know it all asshole who is just incapable of keeping out of other people's business. It's a great person to have in a situation like this, right?

SPEAKER_00 52:47

Love it.

SPEAKER_01 52:51

And sure enough, when Jake found out what was going on, he felt the need to offer his opinion, which amounted to accusing me of taking advantage of Laura and Patrick, and arguing that if I were a real friend, I would just give them the car. Laura, who doesn't like Jake either, but is the sweetest person ever, so does not let it show, politely shut him down and he thankfully left shortly after that. Laura then apologized and told me that she thought what Jake had said was stupid, but that, surprisingly, to both of us, some other friends of hers think the same thing. And then yesterday I met up with Alex, thirty-nine male, a mutual friend of mine and Laura's. Laura, him, and me worked in the same office for a couple of years and where and while I left for greener pastures long time ago, they and some mutual friends still work there. Alex told me with some amusement that the entire thing with the car had been the subject of much gossip at the office. According to what he told me, some people are basically taking Jake's side and calling what I did exploitative and taking advantage of Laura's situation. Since I am charging the money for something that cost me nothing. So, Reddit. Am I the asshole for selling something I got for free? And again, the community has responded to this one already. But let's hear yours.

SPEAKER_00 54:26

Hmm. I'm gonna say not the asshole. Okay. And my reasoning is him justifying giving things for free like that, like the Jake person that has a very opinionated, seems like, right? Um I think it's just not their freaking business, to be fair. Like stay out of my business, first of all. Mm-hmm. And uh two, you know, this is the case where somebody gets lucky, but nothing in this world is free kind of thing. Yeah. And hey, you know, if they want to borrow it or something, maybe, but you know, selling that you're selling them a vehicle, and it's mutually an advantageous situation for both of them. They get a car without having to take a loan. Without having to take a loan, and it's probably not sticker price. Definitely not sticker price.

SPEAKER_01 55:27

It's it's six thousand less than sticker price over there.

SPEAKER_00 55:30

So he's giving them a deal no matter what, and the they're the ones that get to decide whether they want to get this deal from their friend or go to the lot and and and and negotiate and get their own thing going. The point is it's a mutually advantageous thing scenario, a mutually beneficial thing.

SPEAKER_03 55:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:49

And uh it's just none of their business. People are so snooty some like sometimes, especially like these days it seems like they're nosing everybody's business, yeah. I think the term nowadays is called main character energy, right? That's one of them, yeah. Yes. And they're trying to be a main character i uh in your story. It's it's very unfortunate. So not the asshole for me.

SPEAKER_01 56:13

So for me, definitely not the asshole. Um, partially for what you said, but also because uh something that hasn't been like particularly harped on, but was mentioned, is that if he just gave it to them, that means not only did he get a car and then graciously give it to someone, that means he's gonna he's still gonna be paying four grand in taxes. Like he won something and and gave it to a friend in order to pay four thousand dollars for it? Nah, that you that that simply can't be born. Like that's I mean, I suppose in some situations people are willing and able to do that. All power to him if you're able and willing to do that. But for the average Joe, that's not a loss that you can conscionably take, regardless of if you're gonna be doing a friend of solid or not. And realistically speaking, he entered in it and won the car. And I in my personal opinion, if you win something, then it it's perfectly acceptable for you to sell it. It's your property. It's your property. Regardless of if you paid for it or not, regardless of if you have to pay taxes on it or not, it's your property to sell. And if you're willing to sell it at a steeply discounted price to somebody who's in the market for that specific item, more power to you. Especially if they're willing and able to pay that price. I don't think he was taking advantage. Could he have dropped it even farther? Absolutely. But he didn't need to.

SPEAKER_00 58:02

Maybe they'd encounter offer.

SPEAKER_01 58:04

Maybe they didn't. Either way, they're saving a bundle of money. Literally. Six thousand dollars off the sticker price.

SPEAKER_00 58:13

On a car that he doesn't use.

SPEAKER_01 58:16

Yeah. And it's still a brand new car.

SPEAKER_00 58:18

Brand new.

SPEAKER_01 58:19

So they're saving six thousand dollars and that's just the upfront cost. They were gonna have to get a loan for that six thousand dollars. So they're gonna pay even more than that in fees and interest. So realistically, he's probably saving them closer to eight thousand, maybe ten thousand, depending on how long that term was for. So I think everybody wins in this scenario.

SPEAKER_00 58:47

I don't think I don't think he's the asshole. I don't think so. And I don't think anybody's the asshole but the guy who's budding into their business and spreading little rumors, uh, little problems, you know.

SPEAKER_01 58:59

And on the office gossip talk, that's that's just office gossip talk. People people do that all the time. People do that all the time. They do just to talk. And to be fair, in on office situation, a lot of times that's all you have to have as a conversational topic is the most recent thing that happened to somebody nearby. It's just uh it's just crazy. And and the communities is not the asshole. And most comments are along the same vi uh uh line of what we just said for reasoning. Yes. However, there is one comment that uh has a point that neither of us brought up, and so I wanted to highlight that, and it's by no underscore owl underscore one ninety. Knock to the asshole. I love my friends. Not enough to give them fourteen thousand dollars, though.

SPEAKER_00 59:56

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 59:59

That's valid. The car is worth that. It's valid, it's worth more than that, but he's willing to give them the the discount on it, so that's a little more concise way of putting it, but it's very valid.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:14

And like, come on, dude. It's just uh it's their business, you know.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:20

And my last story for the night is under Am I the Asshole. Also involving some winnings and also international.

Lottery Money And Parents Want Half

SPEAKER_00 1:00:30

Oh boy. So it's double the also. Oh boy, oh boy. And it's by Rayapt. Am I the asshole for not giving my parents half my lottery winnings?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:46

No. Already no. There would have to be one hell of a uh I just lost the word. The C word. Uh context. There would have to be one hell of a context to make that not be an asshole situation. For this be an uh an actual asshole situation, rather, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:11

Funny enough, it starts with context. Oh boy. Context. And uh I don't know what the conversion is of m of of uh US dollars to uh pounds, but I'll just Pounds is usually a bit more, like a dollar thirty per dollar. I'll just preface this. It's uh UK. Yeah. Uh so it's in pounds. Uh uh context, I want approximately four million pounds earlier this year from the lotto. That's a chunk of change. Currently the money is diversified into several index funds. Good. Very smart to do. Uh I uh add this as an aside, but there is a story if you guys want to read about lottery winners that become homeless afterwards. So many of them do. Because they get put into a different tax bracket without earning the funds legitimately, so they don't have the capital to continue to pay the taxes if they don't invest it properly. So very smart on OP. I was planning on giving them 750,000 pounds anyway as a thank you, but when I mentioned that as a counter offer, they got mad and started calling me selfish. I'm a nineteen male. He's young. My parents are forty-nine male and forty-seven female. Without going into too much detail and making this longer than necessary, I only waited around a week before I told my par my parents. They were excited, so was I. It was all going fine until they started talking about the money and if it was theirs.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:49

Ugh. Money has a tendency of doing that unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:53

Money is the root of all evil, they say. They were talking about retiring, going on holiday, buying a boat, buying a new car, traveling the world.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:04

Damn.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:05

I asked them how much did you expect to have? Stone cold face. They look at my eyes and say half. And I bet that's half before taxes. There's some context on that later. Oh god. I I understand that with giving half, having two million left is already enough. But why should they be entitled to that? Especially how they're talking to him. I know they're my parents, and we've had a great relationship. To me, 750,000 seems like it's enough as they already have their own savings and paid off mortgage. So am I the asshole for refusing to give my parents half my winnings? And there's an edit. I posted this and went asleep, so I didn't expect it to blow up the way it did. I want to thank everyone for giving me advice and some insight on the situation. I'll do my re best to reply to any DMs I've gotten as well as comments. To clear something up, I saw a few people talking about the tax situation. Since I live in the UK, lottery winnings are not taxed. Oh shit, I did not. So they literally want a full two million dollars. Uh pounds. I may have not clarified this in the post, but my parents did not accept the 750 and insisted on the original two million.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:30

Yeah, they don't get anything now.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:31

This argument has been going back and forth for some time now, but a lot of comments I read mention I should lower my offer instead of letting them try to control me. I've thought about what I can do, and they're still my parents, so I still do want to give them a portion of my winnings, despite the fact that they feel entitled to have. And for the reason why I told them, instead of keeping it a secret, I'm young, I was excited, and I only saw it as a positive thing and didn't expect this to happen.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:01

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:06

Comments range from different things, but most of them are saying stuff like don't ever tell them you're winning the lottery. Ever. Well, a little late for this advice. Keep it undisclosed. There will look, of course, be signs that point in that direction, but never make an acknowledgement. And someone commented, one day people will see me eating an avocado toast, and they'll know I've won the lottery.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:37

I've seen a lot of comments like that for different things, and it it's funny every time to me.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:44

Ask yourself, if they won the lottery, would they give you half?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:49

Yeah, I mean they could.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:51

They could. I don't know. I don't know. Probably not. I think they'd give them like a one million, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:56

From the behavior that they immediately were exhibiting I'm guessing probably not. Sounds like they would have spent it all before they could uh leave it in a will or just straight up hand it to 'em.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:12

And uh kind of like this commenter says, uh by kind philosopher, not the asshole, and stop what the counter offers immediately. I can't stress enough how much you should not give them a penny right now. You need to sit with a financial advisor, very sound advice, just very sound advice. And speak about your goals in life and how this windfall can help you achieve them. This is a conversation that takes months, not minutes. The moment you open your wallet, then everyone and their uncle are going to have a handout. Read about winners of the past and how it can ruin their lives. Absolutely. Just like I said, uh any gifting should be ways down the road, and you have a rock solid plan which accounts for it.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:07

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:08

This is the exact thing that I was saying was have the financials ready and stuff like that prior to making any decisions financially, you know? Yeah. Set yourself up because you know, this does give you the ability to make an investment and uh prepare for your future and stuff like that, you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:29

Yeah. I mean, depending on where in Europe this person lives, four million is I mean, if you're conservative with it, it can certainly last you your whole life. But there's also areas in Europe, like if you want to live downtown London, you're you're gonna burn through that damn fast. Shockingly fast. Um so again, it it really depends on how they wanna live their life and uh set themselves up for the future, but giving half to their parents right away who are already planning on blowing it all.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:10

Not sound decision.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:12

And uh allow me to get a little personal for a moment. Uh as my parents, well, I grew up poor, and at least I grew up poor and knowing that we were poor. Like, because there's kids that are poor and don't know that they're poor and their their parents are struggling and they're seeing that. So I got the the I had to grow up a lot quicker than most of the kids that I knew because I knew that we were poor and I had to step up and help.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:45

And so that being said, I would give my mother some money, obviously, if I were to have this happen, but I would not give it to them in cash and give it to them in like an account that gives it to them so like a trust to a situation, only because I know that my mom, uh sorry, mom, is not super financially responsible. Yeah. And you know. So that's how I would do it personally. So I would give my mom something, but I would make it so that it's not super accessible that way.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:18

Mm-hmm. And not in any one lump payment that would like is likely to ruin their life.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:25

She's gonna spend it all, you know, in one day on on Gucci bags.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:30

I mean, yeah, people do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:31

People do that. So uh what about you?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:36

Uh very similar situation, uh, both in upbringing and knowledge of those that I love and grew up around. Um just giving a lump a lump sum payment to any anyone in my immediate family would not be ideal long term for them. Uh I love them and all that jazz, but really if you love someone you also have to be aware of of them. Exactly. In my opinion. And be looking out for their best interests.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:16

Oh man.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:17

Mm-hmm. Uh and so as part of that, yeah, it would have to be I would probably set up trusts, but honestly, I wouldn't set up trusts for a few years. I would put all of it into investments right away.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:31

Invest yourself. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:32

And then start building out of those out of the interest of that initial seed.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:40

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:41

Out of the interest, start building trusts. And I would have to be telling them like if if they came at me ha with handouts, this is all tied up. I don't even have access to it. So no. Also, I will be generous and I will be helping you. Yes. But I'm not going to be just giving you money whenever, however, and as much as you might want. It's for our own good. Our own good. Ultimately, it's for my own good. I won the money. Yeah. If you wanted to win the money, you should have been playing.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:20

Yeah, but at the end of the day, he's their son, and they want to see him flourish, I am sure. They should. So at the end of the day, if I'm doing good, you're doing good. That's the way I see it. That's the way I feel. As a parent, you want the best for your kid, and that's it. Ideally. That's it. Ideally. Uh I do want to uh mention also uh my favorite podcaster slash financial advisor, Caleb Hammer. Um since we do know OP's age, 19 years old, Caleb Hammer always says, use your twenties and your thirties as your best two decades of compound growth. Yeah. And set yourself financially for your future. And I've mentioned this in the show that he likes to say, so that you're not 70, 80 years old dying on the Walmart floor working. That's just the way I see it.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:15

Yep, you should have huge investments and be living off the interest comfortably, living off the interest, yeah, frankly. As soon as possible, ideally.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:26

As soon as possible, yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:28

And so trying to split up the initial seed that fast is it's only gonna hurt you and your parents long term. Or your other family members if you're in a different situation. So a decade of interest off of four million is going to be astronomically higher than a decade of interest off of two million.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:57

Depending on the percentage that you're getting back per year.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:00

It's gonna be double.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:02

Like uh that that's that's a huge amount of money. And when you're talking double of say conservatively, you get seven hundred thousand dollars of interest a year off of four million. I don't know. I I don't know the realistic f figures, but just we're just kind of giving a round number here. Right. Half of that is three fifty. That is a significant difference between three fifty and seven hundred.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:32

Yes. Huge difference. Portion wise, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:35

So and that's just after ten years. And your parents are in their forties, they're not in their sixties, they're not in their eighties, they have plenty of time left to really enjoy themselves ten years down the road after significant growth versus just getting the two million now, and then they're gonna be blowing through it all, and in two years' time be right back on your doorstep asking for more money because they got accustomed to that lifestyle. Granted, that's a little bit of projection, give but I'm doing that based off of them already planning on buying boats and all this other stuff that they were already planning on doing before he even said what he was gonna give them. Mm-hmm. Like just automatically thinking he was gonna give them half.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:29

That's crazy. Uh it looks like he's gonna have to fight his parents and uh but financial advice, financial advice and legal advice.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:40

Because if if with this much money, things can get nasty and parents could get lawyers involved. People could get nasty. I'm not saying they will. I hope not. God, I hope not, but with with in their minds, two million dollars on the line. I can see some people thinking it worth the investment to spend a couple ten grand on a lawyer to try and get their what they believe what they're owed.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:10

Yeah, it's a very unfortunate scenario. Uh, like we stated prior, money is the root of all evil. It can be. It can be. And

Final Thoughts And Sign Off

SPEAKER_00 1:15:20

uh so verdict for the people. Not the asshole. But it sounds like for this kind of scenario, OP needs to keep those gloves up. Financially and legally. Yes. Maybe even uh physically. His dad's gonna hit him with the hell, he might even need to go to therapy.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:38

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:39

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:40

Uh he has the money to pay for some emotional gloves up, too.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:44

Emotional baggage. And with that, thank you guys for listening to this episode.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:51

And thank you for all your comments, likes, and subscribes. We appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:55

And catch you in the next one.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:57

Later, y'all.